“It’s a good thing we aren’t dating huh?”
He was right.
My friend asked me to call him to make sure he was awake to pick me up for a 6 a.m. trip to the airport. He wasn’t…and his phone was turned off. I was nervous, but not angry. My energy went into problem-solving mode to make sure I didn’t miss my flight.
If we were dating I might have been angry—angry because he obviously didn’t care enough to make sure he would be awake. He didn’t care enough not to make a mistake. Because he is a friend and not a partner, I could see the situation for what it was—He forgot to leave his phone on—simply that. It was not about me. His mistake did not reflect our depth of friendship.
I realized after hearing him say “It’s a good thing we aren’t dating huh?” how much we can make others’ actions a reflection of us. I also realized how much happier I am when I take people’s actions and words at face value. They are acting according to their desires. I get to decide if I like the actions, but I don’t get to decide the motivation behind their actions. (I have plenty on my hands analyzing my own actions!)
So when I get perturbed or flummoxed about something someone else says or does, I repeat “It’s not about me.” That simple phrase gives me peace of mind.
Oh, the airport ride? He picked me up at 6 a.m. on the dot.