Common Feelings of a Caretaker
- You are stressed much of the time
- You live with two different people, one who is loving and attentive, and one who is mean, critical and attacking
- You feel responsible to meet your family member’s needs and apologize, even if you are not sure what you did wrong
Common Behaviors of a Borderline or Narcissist
- Verbally attacks loved ones and is charming to strangers
- Demands from others what they are not willing to reciprocate
- Blames or attacks you for small mistakes or accidents
- Doesn’t want to be alone and pushes you away by picking fights
If these symptoms are a common part of your life, this book is for you.
Dr. Fjelstad understands narcissist and borderline personality disorders. She not only helps you feel less crazy, she gives you tools to change.
Change Yourself or Your Loved One?
If you want to figure out how to change your loved one, don’t read this book. It is not for you.
Just know this—when you are done banging your head against the wall of trying to change your loved one, this book will be ready for you.
Are You are Caretaker of a Narcissist?
For some reason, my practice has been drawing in clients whose partners are narcissists. Our work together, combined with Dr. Fjelstad’s book, has helped them remember who they are, and what they want in their life.
What Creates Change?
It is a combination of:
- Understanding (not blaming) the personality disorder
- Rediscovering what you want, not just going along with what your loved one wants
- Stating what you want (and then avoiding arguing why it is ok for you to want what you want.)
And…this one is important
- Taking action to get what you want (not convincing your loved one that they are the one that needs to change)
If you are ready to stop trying to change your loved one and you are ready to take back your life, read “Stop Caretaking the Borderline or Narcissist: How to End the Drama and Get on with Life” and find a therapist who understands borderline and narcissism.
Both will help you move through the discomfort and fear of remembering what you want, and taking the steps to have more joy in your life.