Do you love a Narcissist? Help is here!If you love someone who has narcissist or borderline personality disorder, READ THIS BOOK.
Stop Caretaking the Borderline or Narcissist: How to End the Drama and Get on with Life, by Margalis Fjelstad.This book has helped change the lives of several of my clients, literally. The photo is of my own very well worn copy.
Common Feelings of a Caretaker
- You are stressed much of the time
- You live with two different people, one who is loving and attentive, and one who is mean, critical and attacking
- You feel responsible to meet your family member’s needs and apologize, even if you are not sure what you did wrong
Common Behaviors of a Borderline or Narcissist
- Verbally attacks loved ones and is charming to strangers
- Demands from others what they are not willing to reciprocate
- Blames or attacks you for small mistakes or accidents
- Doesn’t want to be alone and pushes you away by picking fights
Change Yourself or Your Loved One?If you want to figure out how to change your loved one, don’t read this book. It is not for you. Just know this—when you are done banging your head against the wall of trying to change your loved one, this book will be ready for you.
Are You are Caretaker of a Narcissist?For some reason, my practice has been drawing in clients whose partners are narcissists. Our work together, combined with Dr. Fjelstad’s book, has helped them remember who they are, and what they want in their life.
What Creates Change?It is a combination of:
- Understanding (not blaming) the personality disorder
- Rediscovering what you want, not just going along with what your loved one wants
- Stating what you want (and then avoiding arguing why it is ok for you to want what you want.)
- Taking action to get what you want (not convincing your loved one that they are the one that needs to change)
Are You Ready?