“Strangely enough, when we are willing to accommodate the painful aspects of our life fully, and we actually begin to feel that we can handle them and we don’t resist them – that’s the moment when we feel the most joy.”
~ Reggie Ray
Satisfaction and Humaness
I was on Facebook this morning and saw a post (below) by Pema Chodron. I’ve always loved what Pema has to say, because she is so darn human! She makes it OK to reach,to struggle, to have faults, to have fun. Most of all, she seems to teach acceptance of who we are, right now. I struggle with this notion, as a radical (and reforming) perfectionist. My clients struggle with this notion, almost everyone I know struggles with this notion.
I think I’ll add a little gratitude in with that struggle.
Satisfaction
by Pema Chodron on Monday, September 19, 2011
Being satisfied with what we already have is a magical golden key to being alive in a full unrestricted, and inspired way. One of the major obstacles to what is traditionally called enlightenment is resentment, feeling cheated, holding a grudge about who you are, where you are, what you are. This is why we talk so much about making friends with ourselves, because for some reason or other, we don’t feel that kind of satisfaction in a full and complete way.
Meditation is a process of lightening up, of trusting the basic goodness of what we have and who we are, and of realizing that any wisdom that exists, exists in what we already have. Our wisdom is all mixed up with what we call our neurosis. Our brilliance, our juiciness, our spiciness, is all mixed up with our craziness and our confusion and therefore it doesn’t do any good to try to get rid of our so-called negative aspects, because in that process we also get rid of our basic wonderfulness. We can lead our life so as to become more awake to who we are and what we’re doing rather than trying to improve or change or get rid of who we are or what we’re doing. The key is to wake up, to become more alert, more inquisitive and curious about ourselves.
(Wisdom Of No Escape)
The Gifts of Imperfection
I just finished reading Brene Brown’s The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are. As I finished it, I vowed to read it at least once a year. Her message inspires me to take more risks and live more fully—to be very, very alive.
Read it…really.
Below is the paragraph with which she ends the book.
“Revolution might sound a little dramatic, but in this world, choosing authenticity and worthiness is an absolute act of resistance. Choosing to live and love with our whole hearts is an act of defiance. You’re going to confuse, piss off, and terrify lots of people–including yourself. One minute you’ll pray that the transformation stops, and the next minute you’ll pray that it never ends. You’ll also wonder how you can feel so brave and so afraid at the same time. At least that’s how I feel most of the time…brave, afraid, and very, very alive.”
“Maybe the new strength is understanding our weakness.”
Radio Lab, NPR
I let myself touch, again
an ancient grief
and feel the endlessness.
I let myself ponder,
it might not be.
How Bathroom Lines and Therapy are Related
(I have to say, I love that title!)
I was at a conference a couple weeks ago. During the break, I and many other women stood in the line waiting for three stalls. Someone in the front of me remarked that three stalls in a conference center is not enough. I silently agreed.
The next day I was at the same conference and I went into the bathroom again. This time I saw six other stalls.
What? Was I in a different bathroom? Did they magically build the new stalls overnight?
No. What was different was there was no line, with everyone oriented toward just three stalls. (To be fair, the set-up of the bathroom was not optimal and it was not easy to see the other six stalls. Still…)
I realized it would have taken one person to see beyond the spell of “line blindness” and to say “Hey, there are six other stalls we can use.” The line would have moved much faster. We all would have benefited.
Part of my work with families and individuals is to help break the spell of “this is how life works” so they see new ways to view and react to situations. When one person breaks the spell and makes a change, it is lovely to watch that change ricochet through-out the family. (I’m not saying the change is always welcomed by the other members. In general, we are not happy with change, even if it is healthy.)
The bathroom line reminded me of how powerfully our view of reality is influenced by those around us. More importantly, it reminded me of how one person can create a change that can help many.
So there you have it, how bathroom lines and therapy are related. (I am still proud of that title.)