I was recently listening to a speaker who asked us what we would share, if we knew we had one minute to live. What is the most important thing we know? I realized I would tell people to listen to yourself for your answers. As long as we look to others for answers, for our sense of worth, we will always be off balance.

I spent much of my life believing others knew what was best for me. I remember a watershed moment, about 10 years ago, when I first questioned that belief. I was on Edisto Island, in South Carolina, with four dear friends from college years. Several of them were offering me advice on how to get a relationship, or have children, or something along those lines. I realized they were offering me their answers. I also realized they did not know what was best for me. That was the first time I consciously held that knowledge.

Since then my trust in my own knowing has continued to grow. I still have times of confusion, and times when I ask others their opinion, but I no longer believe they know me better than I know myself. Their thoughts can spark new ideas, or point out something I had forgotten, but they cannot give me my answers.

With that knowing I have come more into my own sovereignty—and my friends no longer are burdened by figuring out what I need to do.

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