Today I just got to hold a little six week old bundle of love.
It feels odd to feel so full of gratitude to hold a child as I commence on my journey to write a book for women over 40 who did not have children. My friend (the new mom) took my picture as I snuggled my cheek against the head of her son. Her comment—“You look so maternal!” I felt maternal.
I found myself full of wonder at this little being and profoundly happy to be in his presence. And just yesterday I was feeling grateful that I could choose to take a nap instead of having to take care of kidlets. Literally, I was just thinking that thought the day before my heart burst.
Not even 24 hours after I was feeling so happy to have the freedom to make decisions based on my energy level rather than the needs of a child, I witnessed the gift of an open heart an infant brings. I felt like Kathy Perry’s video, where fireworks are coming out of her chest.
(I highly recommend watching this video, it brings a smile to my face every time.)
I found myself feeling almost guilty at how happy I was to hold the baby. How could I write a book about meaning beyond motherhood if I could go so ga-ga over a baby?
Luckily, I decided that thought was silly.
Life certainly is more interesting when we can hold the both/and instead of the either/or.