My friend asked me “How are you today?” I answered, “I’ve been sending myself a lot of love this week.” He responded “That makes me want to give you a hug.” I smiled…”That’s how it works, doesn’t it?” He laughed and said “Yes it is!”

Isn’t it funny that when we are feeling most needy for love, it is either fleeting or simply not there? And when we are feeling good and like ourselves, others respond in kind?

It seems like a cruel trick. I think it is brilliant.

Every time we yearn for another’s love, or affection, or approval, it is a signal from ourselves that we are not giving love to ourselves. How can we expect something external to fill what we cannot?

I’ve tried, believe you me. I have, and still am at times, learning this the hard way.

Love from others can certainly help. When someone I love gives me a compliment, or a hug, or pledges their undying love, I get a big boost, have no doubt about that. Yet I know that those boosts could disappear.

Depending on love from the outside is like a teeter-totter—if the other person bails, we come down hard on our butt, unless we have our feet underneath us.

Every time we give ourselves love, when we are happy with ourselves, and especially when we are disappointed in ourselves (especially then) we are building up the ground beneath our legs, or our legs, whichever metaphor you prefer.

It is then we can play the game of love with freedom. The game of our teeter-totter life is more fun because we can push ourselves higher—knowing we will still land—most of the time not on our butt.

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