by Jane Tornatore | Apr 17, 2011 | Musings |
It all started with socks and Birkenstocks.
I admit it—I secretly laughed at those who did not have the sense to put a bag over their head for the shame of such a fashion faux pas as wearing socks with sandles.
One day I looked down at my feet and gasped—I had become one of *those people*. (As I write this I am wearing fuzzy purple socks with my Birks—good grief.)
I also frequently wear the same clothes, sometimes two days in a row. I used to pride myself on all the different combinations I could create. I could go months without direct repetition. I’ve also noticed that I eat more with my fingers, and with spoons. Spearing things with my fork seems like too much trouble sometimes.
I have more and less patience. I have more patience for mistakes made from innocence, or lack of knowledge, or ability. I have less patience for those who consciously choose to behave in a way I don’t think is right. (Apparently, I am not yet old enough to let go of the idea that I know what is best for all human-kind.)
For me, aging is as much about attitude as body changes. I’m quite happy with that belief; I can control my attitudes, but I’m not doing so well at stopping the aging process.
Two or three decades after I felt so sorry for those people who did not seem to care if others disapproved of them, I find I have become one of them.
So, as I walk down the street with my purple hat and Birks and socks, I can look at the young, hip people I see and think “someday, you just might look like me” and smile.
I just had a thought…if I feel this way at 49, how will I act and dress in another 20 years? It boggles my mind.
by Jane Tornatore | Apr 13, 2011 | Musings |
“When ego is lost, limit is lost.
You become infinite, kind, beautiful.”
Well that sounds cool!
by Jane Tornatore | Apr 10, 2011 | Musings |
I’m sitting here in the sun, on a sunny morning in Seattle, with a cup of tea, a bit of Theo’s chocolate, and my cat. A moment of pure joy.
Soon I will head back inside to finish a project that has consumed my week. But for now, I will revel in this moment.
Many of the clients I work with live lives of high stress, especially those who care for relatives with dementia, or who live with chronic health issues themselves. I cannot fix the diseases for them. I cannot change the reality of living with a disease.
What I can do is help them remember what is still meaningful in their lives and work with them to make the space for what is important. It is the small actions we take which help us feel a sense of control, when much of our life feels out of control.
I have a friend who was recently diagnosed with cancer. After a long meeting with her doctor she took herself out to a nice restaurant for a lovely meal. She was celebrating herself and her bravery.
When we gift ourselves with those little moments, the good feelings they create spread into the rest of our day, and our lives.
So now I head back inside, to sit in front of my computer. I take the feeling of my moments in the sun with me.
by Jane Tornatore | Apr 7, 2011 | Musings |
My friend asked me “How are you today?” I answered, “I’ve been sending myself a lot of love this week.” He responded “That makes me want to give you a hug.” I smiled…”That’s how it works, doesn’t it?” He laughed and said “Yes it is!”
Isn’t it funny that when we are feeling most needy for love, it is either fleeting or simply not there? And when we are feeling good and like ourselves, others respond in kind?
It seems like a cruel trick. I think it is brilliant.
Every time we yearn for another’s love, or affection, or approval, it is a signal from ourselves that we are not giving love to ourselves. How can we expect something external to fill what we cannot?
I’ve tried, believe you me. I have, and still am at times, learning this the hard way.
Love from others can certainly help. When someone I love gives me a compliment, or a hug, or pledges their undying love, I get a big boost, have no doubt about that. Yet I know that those boosts could disappear.
Depending on love from the outside is like a teeter-totter—if the other person bails, we come down hard on our butt, unless we have our feet underneath us.
Every time we give ourselves love, when we are happy with ourselves, and especially when we are disappointed in ourselves (especially then) we are building up the ground beneath our legs, or our legs, whichever metaphor you prefer.
It is then we can play the game of love with freedom. The game of our teeter-totter life is more fun because we can push ourselves higher—knowing we will still land—most of the time not on our butt.
by Jane Tornatore | Mar 28, 2011 | Musings |
This music video gets at the heart of what being a therapist, and indeed, life, is all about for me. I am posting it in honor of my 49th birthday and how I choose to live life, continually asking the question–“How would it be?”
With deep gratitude,
Jane/BG
by Jane Tornatore | Mar 23, 2011 | Musings |
“It began in mystery, and it will end in mystery, but what a savage and beautiful country lives in between.”
~Diane Ackerman
